I am NOT an aspiring runner...

You read that right...I am NOT an aspiring runner. Aspirations are the hook hopes hang on and believe me when I say I have aspired to be a lot of things in this life--the majority of which never manifested. Aspirations are half-baked fantasies, they fuel the journeys we aren't yet sold on taking. So I have divorced myself from being a purveyor of aspirations...instead, throwing myself into a seductive relationship of becoming...because at the end of the day, you are or you are not. No one gives a shit about the in between. The in between is 50% where you've come from and 50% where you have left to go, neither one proving your ability to become what you "aspire".

I AM a runner...

but I didn't always believe it.

This time last year I was tipping the scales at 210.5 pounds. I started and quit every weight loss plan, hack, and fad that social media algorithms threw in my feed. I spent thousands (yes thousands) of dollars with nothing to show for any of it. I was tired of being fat. I was tired of buying clothes to hide the fact that the excuses came easier than the healthy commitments. And why? Because I aspired to be thin. Aspirations are half-baked fantasies with no guarantee of manifesting.

So clearly there is a catalyst...something that takes us to the pinnacle...

Yes, but first.

I'm Latina...diabetes runs on both sides of my family and is one of my greatest fears in life. You wouldn't have known it by the way I ate. (If you don't mind...I'm going to rewind a quick minute. I used to be a pack-a-day-smoker. Yeah, gross. When I quit over 10 years ago, I found a new vice...if you guessed food, pat yourself on the back. You're good at connecting dots.)

Back to diabetes and shitty eating. I scheduled a physical with my doctor, vowing that IF I was given another chance (meaning I'm not swimming pre-diabetic/diabetic waters) I would take it as my last chance from God to get my shit together.

Well...

I was NOT swimming in diabetic waters. I was however drowning in the waters of high cholesterol. Self-fucking-sabotage and it feels like a surge of nothing and everything at once.

"Ok," I thought to myself..."we've arrived at the crossroad." And that was the day...

October 16th, 2020...I stopped aspiring and I became.

Yeah, I know. You're probably wondering, "became what exactly?!"

Glad you asked. I gave my excuses a proper burial and

became determined,

became disciplined,

became laser-fucking-focused.

(Yes. Potty mouth. Sorry, not sorry. It adds flare. And it's very much me. I'm direct..and I stopped apologizing for that when I realized it wasn't something I ever needed to apologize for.)

Fast forwarding...

January 10th, 2021. Less than 3 months into my journey I took on a Pelofondo and cycled 100 miles on my Peloton in 1 day without training for it. I proved that simply believing I could, meant I would.

September 11th, 2021. Signed up for what I thought was a memorial 5k. While reading the pre-race email the night before, I very quickly realized it wasn't a 5k, but a 9.11 mile race. Fuck. "It's ok, you can walk/run," I said to myself. "Or you can straighten your crown and MANIFEST that you are going to run the entire damn race." And I did. Walking wasn't an allowance I was going to take. So I didn't. I ran all 9.11 miles. It wasn't easy...it was tough as hell...but it was nothing compared to the high of crossing the finish.

I'm almost to the end...promise.

For quite a few years I aspired to complete a half-marathon. Was I ever really serious? Hell no I wasn't. Not even a little bit. But it sounded cool and people kind of look at you different when you start throwing out goals with 13.1 mile attachments. Truth is, aside from it being a good conversation starter, it was just another aspirational hook I hung hope out to dry on. After all, when I got out of the Marine Corps I said I would never run again unless it was for my life and I was perfectly content to see that through.

We're almost to the end now and you didn't come this far to come this far (thank you Jess Sims).

October 11th, 2021. The day I realized I had, somewhere along the way, become a runner. I signed up for the Disney Princess Half-Marathon at Walt Disney World. Aside from graduating Marine Corps boot camp, it will be the greatest self-sought/self-got accomplishment of my life. And the best part? I will be running it as a St. Jude hero in honor of my dad who lost his battle with cancer.

Ok, as promised, October 24th, 2021...T O D A Y.

I am a runner. I am fit. I am HAPPY and I am ready to share this crazy ass half-marathon journey to 13.1 with you...yes, you.

"Aspiring to be" looks like the picture on the left, taken on October 16th, 2021 at 201.5 pounds.

"Being" looks like the picture on the right, taken October 16th, 2021...exactly 1 year later.

Stop aspiring to be what you already are. <3

With Love,

- Pia